New Hair

Tonight after Elisha's b-day party we had a "Shaving Party"!! It was alot of fun, really! Elisha was such a great supporter. She held me hands and really helped make this experience ok. Thank you to Kevin, my Mom, Sue, Dee and Sean for supporting me and being apart of this change. I love you all!! Nathan was not too happy at first but has been doing better as the night went on, (I love you peanut)!

Praise the Lord.

We just had our checkup with Dr. Gaffar (oncologist). The appointment went well. He did his exam and measured the tumor at
1 1/2 cm. That means that the Tumor has shrunk from 3.75 to 1.5. Now those aren't exact only the MRI will tell that for sure, but he did have a hard time finding it. So after just the 1st treatment the tumor has shrunk about 1/2. That is amazing, Praise the Lord!!!

So the plan as of right now is this, we will continue with the 2nd treatment, after the treatment we will get a MRI done to see how much it has shrunk. If it has shrunk alot, then we will go ahead and do the surgery and then finish the other treatments after. This has definitly been a blessing to prayer. Thank you all for your prayers, love and support.

2 weeks on the dot..

Well it has been 2 weeks and I have been feeling great. I have been almost back to normal and it has been so nice. Those things that I complained about before I have loved doing, well to a point! LOL

I remember before I had my first treatment, we asked the Oncologist how long it would take to start loosing my hair and he said 2 weeks. Everyone that we have talked to has said that they are exactly on the mark. So I have realized that they were right on. I took a shower this afternoon and realized that I have started to loose my hair. It is not noticable yet, but I am sure it will be soon. I have an appointment with a lady about wigs and scarfs and then I am going to a class to help with how to do your makeup and all that fun stuff. My mom will be here on Saturday and is going to go with me, so I am pretty excited about that. Other than that we are all doing good.

Please continue to pray for strength and wisdom for Kevin and I and for our kids. Thanks to all of you..

Tanya

"Praise be to the God & the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
2 Corinthians 1: 3&4

One Week Down.. Many more to go

Well it has been 1 week since I had my first chemo treatment. This 1st week has been up and down. I have not experienced any nausea, which has been nice, but I have been pretty tired and weak. I have had body aches pretty much all the time and headaches. I have spent most of this week just laying in bed trying to rest. It has been difficult for me because I have not been able to be much of a mommy, especially to Aaron. I have realized that even though I have not been able to physically be a mommy, they still know that I love them and that I need to rest and take care of myself so that way I can be there for them all in the long run.

Today I had to go and get my blood count checked and it was fine. So that leaves me with a checkup with Dr. Gaffar next friday to make the 1st treatment cycle done. We will have 2 more treatments (3 weeks for each treatment). I am a little nervous for the next treatment because I am not sure if I will handle it the same or if it will get worse. But we are just taking it day by day.

The next big step for us will be when I start to loose my hair. They said that it would be about 2 weeks, so that means I have about 1 more week before I should start loosing it. I am very scared about this. I know many people have said, "it is not permanent and it will grow back", but it is harder to deal with when you actually have to face it. I have gotten a wig from the Women's Place and am hoping on getting another one, once we get the insurance figured out. I am also going to look into getting the scarfs cause I know that I will be wearing those more than anything. My biggest concern is for the kids and trying to not freak them out. Cause I know I am going to freak out myself, so I could just imagine how they will feel. I was trying to convince Nathan to shave his head with me but he said "Mommy I don't want to have a bald head". LOL..

One thing that I have tried to remember, especially during the down days, is that no matter what I am going through, no matter how bad I feel, or how sick and tired I am, the Lord did not put me here and walk away. He has continued to carry me through this and he is NEVER going to leave me. It is such a relief to know that our Father in Heaven is in charge. Kevin and I have talked alot about this and how amazing the Lord is that he brought us here at the time he did. If this would have happened 10 years ago, our lives were in such a different place that I am not sure we would be where we are now. He has brought Kevin and I so much closer to him and to each other and our children. The most important thing of this all, is that his name is being Glorified not only during this but long after this is over.

We thank all of you who continue to pray for us. The Lord has definitly had his hand in this and it is such a relief. We ask that you would continue to pray for the Lord to use us and that we will continue to look to him for all our needs. We love you so much.

The Marriage

How does someone know whether or not their investment was worth the cost? The obvious answer is based on the amount of return. Marriage probably has more initial cost than any other investment because you are giving your life to another person. From first-hand experience I can say that the return on this investment will vary depending on how much of your life you are willing to give to your spouse. There is no better example of this than that of Jesus Christ laying down his life for his bride(the Church). God has never made a larger investment than that of allowing his Son to be the payment in full, which would allow him to spend eternity with his bride. That is a perfect marriage.
Tanya and I are in the eighth year of our marriage, which has grown from one that could've ended after the first year, to one that is a wonderful example of redemption, unity, and desire to continually grow together in the Lord. We do not have a perfect marriage but we do have total investment and by looking at the example of the love that the Lord has for his bride, we have direction.
Without a doubt we are entering the most difficult valley(psalm 23) that either of us has ever faced. When you hear the words cancer, tumor, chemotherapy, radiation, it is like being hit by a hurricane that was not on the radar screen. While there are many emotional stages we have gone through, we have been well prepared because our marriage is built on the foundation of Jesus Christ which is able to withstand any storm. I love my wife and am proud to be going through this with her. It is an honor and a privilege to walk by faith together into the unknown all the while knowing that no matter what happens physically we have a seat reserved at the table of the greatest wedding feast that will ever take place. I love you Tanya, you have given me a bigger return on my investment than I could ever understand or even hope for.

Port a Cath

I am home and getting ready to take a nap but wanted to add an update. The surgery for the port a cath went well. I am just tried right now and hopefully will get some rest. Some good news, the BRCA genetic test came back and it was negative. That is such an answer to prayer. Thank you all.

I would just ask that now you would pray for the kids. Elisha had a hard time today when I got home and she was afraid to even hug me cause she thought she was going to hurt me. She wanted to give me a kiss but only on the hand. I feel that her and Nathan might have a hard time with all of this. I just pray that the Lord will give Kevin and I and all our family and friends that right words to use when talking to them and that they will feel the our love.

Thank you again
Tanya

and it begins...

After talking to 20 million doctors/nurses today, this is what is happening. Tomorrow morning I have to go in for a heart test, jsut to make sure that my heart is healthy enough for the chemo. As soon as I am done with that, I have to go over to the hospital and have surgery to get the port a cath in. Then on Thursday at 10 I will be getting my first dose of Chemo. I am very nervous but know that the Lord will be with me and the doctors. I am looking forward to my parents and sister coming this weekend and to be here . I will try to update tomorrow on how everything went and then of course on Thursday. Thanks again for all the prayers and comments.. Love you all

Tanya